Sunday, September 3, 2017

Sunday Musing 39


     Today I'm reflecting on the happenings of this past week.  I found this song performed by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, the music and words of which I love.  I think it expresses the joy I feel at the inspiring rescue work in Houston this past week.  Yes, there hs been tragedy, but  also joy.

Sunday, June 4, 2017

Sunday Musing 38: The Finch Outside My Window


     Last night I had a music dream.  My music dreams are not pleasant; they are usually filled with crazy circumstances that leave me feeling a lot of anxiety!  The dream I woke up with was no exception.  I was on my way to play a Festival City Orchestra concert and discovered that I was dressed in weirdness--an old teal velvet dress, a black cardigan sweater, and black shoes underneath something else which I can't remember (at least I was fully clothed in something other than underwear or PJs).  When I was onstage the teal gown had changed to old wrinkled black jeans (at least I'm rid of the teal).  Next I noticed that my hose had slipped off my feet and the ragged ends of each dangled out from the bottom of my pants.  Apparently my toenails had cut off the ends of the hose.  It was finally close to concert time and I realized my black shoes were missing and in their place were my gray Isotoner slippers.  I had 6-7 minutes before the concert so I left the stage to see if they were by my viola case.  My case was now buried behind many others and I stuggled to get it out.  Another player arrived and told me what tables I was allowed to use for my viola.  This made no sense at all but I complied.  I opened up my case.  I had not found my shoes, but there was a chunk of wood in my case.  Oh no, I thought...did it fall off my instrument?  Thankfully I could not find the origin of the wood, but I did hear what I thought was the first piece on the program.  I'm late?!  And I'm sitting principal.  Uh-oh.  Fortunately there were a couple of other late arrivals, too, and I realized some kind of unplanned musical demo was taking place.  I tried to open the big door behind the stage and found it stuck.. A man opened it (the old actor Leslie Nielson...who knows where he came from) and informed me that I was never to open the door when it seemed to be stuck.  He or someone else would. When I entered I was not behind the stage but coming in from the side audience area and the large auditorium was now small.  The orchestra was now small and I saw my stand partner across the stage from the first violins.  Oh well, I thought, it is what it is.  And I walked across the stage in my strange attire.  I woke up. Relief!

     As I told my dream to my husband I realized it was not as bad as my music dreams usually are.  At least some problems were solved and I had my actual stand partner, Olga, who is supportive and a fine musician.  I remember looking at her with some relief.  And at least I was clothed.  At least I had enough maturity to say to myself "Oh well! It is what it is...on with the show".   But where do these dreams come from?!
     I might know at least one new reason.  I'm getting older.  Things don't go as planned, there are delays, I get injured (I missed a step this week and fell), and lots of well-meaning people, alive or via media, tell me what to do.  My physical body is slowly wearing out, like an old car.  It has a lot of miles and it's beginning to break down.  It seems it's just one minor injury after another.  But I keep going--it is what it is.
     As I looked out my desk window this morning I saw a house finch sitting on a dead crabapple limb maybe 6-8 feet from me.  He just sat for awhile, flitting around to reveal his beautiful light gray and rosy-colored breast.  I thought to myself that he is such a sweet, lovely bird; why do some people consider house finches to be pests?  He then began to sing.  I love the song of house finches yet I've never seen one sing.  His little throat wobbled as he sang his heart out.  He stayed for a few minutes, resting and singing, and then flew away.
     The past two weeks I've been playing my viola for my own enjoyment.  I don't do that very often; I'm usually preparing music for a concert.  I pulled out some new music I bought months ago and decided to work on Selections from Romeo and Juliet for viola and piano by Prokofiev.  I love this ballet music.  Festival City performed some of it this winter and  now I can play parts I didn't get to in the concert.  I listen to Youtube recordings and practice (yeah Youtube). I play my heart out when I'm warmed up.  I have missed this.  It feels so good.
     I also decided to fix up a storage area in my office.  It's a large metal storage rack filled with an odd assortment of boxes of fabrics and sewing supplies.  It's so ugly.  The thought ocurred to me that I could purchase several bankers boxes and cover them with fabric. I decided to go for it and it's almost done.  I used spray and tacky glues to cover nine boxes with a  gray and white decorator ticking fabric (fabricguru on the internet...great service and check out fab sales), and I covered the exposed ends of some smaller plastic containers.  It looks so nice!
     Next I sorted and cleaned.  I'm sore.  My back is not happy.  I have more to do. But oh is what it is!
      As we age we still need to sing, just like the finch on the dead limb.  We have beautiful songs in us and we need to express them. We need to find ways to push ourselves within our limits and try new things we think we might enjoy--learn new tunes, so to speak.  We need to get out of ourselves. And remember to sing!  Find your voice and go for it.  For me, music and the Spirit activate my voice.  Remember your blessings, express your gratitude, and always remember to sing your heart to God, who will always listen!

Sunday, May 28, 2017

Have You Ever Felt Powerful?

Here is my fun question for today--
When in your life did you feel most powerful?

     My first reaction to this question is that I have never felt powerful. I have been in positions of power--motherhood is powerful-- but feeling powerful is not the same as exercising it. In fact, it’s something I have never thought about.  So I will ramble, and maybe I’ll remember something.
     I remember an experience I had  the morning after I was baptized a member of the LDS church.  I was walking across campus at Stephens College.  I recall looking up at the beautiful, bright sky and thinking that I was full of light.  As I looked near the sun I felt like it was in me.  I suppose there was a feeling of power connected to that, but not the kind of power most of us think about.  It was spiritual power. 
     I felt spiritual power a few years ago while conducting my ward choir rehearsal.  I don’t remember the piece we were practicing, but it was a great conduit for the Holy Ghost.  As I felt the Spirit, I sensed it was filling my arms as I conducted.  It was both powerful and humbling at the same time.  I had that experience a few other times, but never quite like that particular moment.
     When I was a child I loved imagining that I was a horse.  I loved to run, and I enjoyed pretending to run- alone or in a herd- with my long mane and tail wildly flying.  There was a kind of power in that.  When I was older and realized I couldn’t be a horse, I would ride my pretend horse off across empty fields, galloping in the wind.  It was exhilarating!  I felt so free, and there was also a certain power in that.  But it wasn’t real.
     I first received letter grades when I was in third grade.  I recall standing in our little breakfast room and showing them to my mother.  They were As and Bs and I knew I had performed well.  I felt pride in myself, and that is connected to feeling powerful.  That first report card had a big impact on me, and many more like it followed.  I felt confidence in my academic ability most of the time, and that has power.
     I wish I could say the same about music.  I loved my violin very much, but I had great trouble disciplining myself enough to practice until college, when I received grades for violin or viola lessons.   My confidence level was low from years of self-defeating behavior in regards to my instrument.  That battle for confidence continues today, although the fights are fewer and less difficult.  My love for music and my viola, as well as powerful spiritual experiences, have motivated and strengthened me. 
     Perhaps feeling powerful as an adult is related to feeling confidence in one’s abilities.  It’s also related to  healthy self-esteem.  I think that  the expression of unconditional love from others, strong family support and good teachers can bolster these, but ultimately we must connect to God.  That is the source of true power.

Sunday, May 7, 2017

My Window View


      I took this photo a few days ago through my office window during a rare sunny morning. Such a beautiful old crabapple!  All our crabapple trees are blooming like this.
     All my tulips are blooming, including a few transplanted by creatures.  The deer usually attack them, but not one has been disturbed this year.  Everything is thriving.
     It has been a lovely spring.  I love it when spring is cool and rainy like ours this year; it means the beautiful flowers will last longer.  It looks like the beauty will last through the coming week, too.

Friday, May 5, 2017

Favorite words


     After reading a list of journal prompts I have a topic for today.  What are your favorite and least favorite words?

Here goes--
Favorite word- 
       Crisco, spoken slowly.  I love the sound of it.  Anyone else love the word Crisco?  I doubt it...but who knows!  I'm sure there must be more words I love for different reasons, but I can't think of them right now.  I'm stuck on the sound of C....R...I...S...C...O.................very cool!
Least favorite word -
       Pus might be it.  Yuck.  I also hate the F word (and other swear words)

Best crazy word-
       Poochenhopper.  I have no idea where it comes from.

Favorite names-
       When I was a child I loved the names Mary Ann, Julia, Katherine and Elizabeth.  As an adult I love the name Beth.  I was convinced my first child was a girl and her name would be Beth.  Out came Michael James.  I had that experience 2 more times, with Beth being Matthew and then Jonathan.  I still don't know who Beth is!

Tuesday, May 2, 2017

Miss Iris

Just a pic of my mini iris.  They bloom in the early spring (mid April here).  I love them!

Sunday, April 30, 2017

Sunday Musing 37

This morning I'm just sharing a couple of ideas.
     First, I had the following thought come into my mind this morning:  "Come to the Lord and see what He can do for you."  I believe that refers to how I can change for the better by coming unto Christ.  It also refers to his desire to bless me.  This is true for all of us!
    I love the quotes below by Joseph Smith, which are related to one above (it's a secondhand source--but a good one).

......"If men do not comprehend the character of God, they do not comprehend themselves. I want to go back to the beginning, and so lift your minds into more lofty spheres and a more exalted understanding than what the human mind generally aspires to....."
“… The scriptures inform us that ‘This is life eternal that they might know thee, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom thou hast sent.’ [John 17:3.]
.......“If any man does not know God, and inquires what kind of a being He is,—if he will search diligently his own heart—if the declaration of Jesus and the apostles be true, he will realize that he has not eternal life; for there can be eternal life on no other principle."
“My first object is to find out the character of the only wise and true God, and what kind of a being He is. …"
“… Having a knowledge of God, we begin to know how to approach Him, and how to ask so as to receive an answer. When we understand the character of God, and know how to come to Him, He begins to unfold the heavens to us, and to tell us all about it. When we are ready to come to Him, He is ready to come to us.”9  (

Blog Archive

About Me

My photo
In addition to being a violist, I am a wife and mother (three sons). I dabble in writing, handwork, sewing and photography.